She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
