you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
