Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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