That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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