i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
