i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
