we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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