3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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