i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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