I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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