im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
