I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
