Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
