ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Dignity is for republicans.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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