I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
