ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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