do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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