I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize