so that wasnt chicken after all
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize