i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
