Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
