So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
