are you still at the devil's house?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Randomize
