Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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