today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize