I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
