I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
