Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
