my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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