I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Green mimosas i think yes
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I need to sanitize my soul.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
