I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm eating all of the evidence.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
