my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize