So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
