I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize