He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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