JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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