Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
