doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
