I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
