would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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