addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
