there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
