I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
