Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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