I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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