I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
