I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize