Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
