fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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