He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
