how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My hand turned me down
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
