Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
that may or may not have been my penis.
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