i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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