I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
This toilet bowl is my home.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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