New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
