He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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