I'm gonna have a badass scar
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize