At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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