super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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