Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
