i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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