Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize