i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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