Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
how drunk are you?
Several
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize