You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize