3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
