Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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