Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
