my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
