Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
