I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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