you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
