Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
