dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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