Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
