My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
