this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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