I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I didn't notice because vodka
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
