ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
