Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
